I AM a Runner

There are fewer things I can truly say I AM than those I can say I AM NOT.

I AM a sister, a daughter, a friend, a companion, an advisor, a developer, a motivator, an adventurer, a strong young woman, a compassionate and passionate individual, a "dancing machine" :), an athlete or more specifically, a RUNNER. These are just a few things which I most strongly identify myself as being. These are the things that define my past, present, and with all hope, far future.

There are plenty of things I can firmly say I'm not, such as: a professional athlete, a poet, a fashionista, a hipster, a builder, a banker, a brainiac, & (definitely not) a doctor, ... nor am I a failure, a sissy, a home-body, a quitter, or always right (though painful to admit). And I am not someone who is content with the norm or average. .... And I am definitely not a Yankees fan (I'll explain this one later), but these are just a few things that quickly came to mind.

I started thinking about this after I finished my run today. Yes, I know I was advised to take two weeks off, but seriously?... no, seriously? come on! So, standing in an open field watching the masses of cyclists and runners rollin' on down a near by rec path, I became almost hypnotised by the steady flow of athletes. I started to slide back in to my own deep thoughts of what brings so many of these people out during the mid-day heat. I started to think about how many of them where in pain or also pushing through an injury like me. And why we're all just so crazy. But then this reassuring thought came to me as if through this whole injury debacle I had some how forgotten, I AM a runner. We, as athletes, do this because it's who we are. We do this because it's who we want to be and who we choose to be. We/I identify as "A Runner" and not only am I "a runner" but I'm a damn good runner. This is who I am and how can I let this aspect of who I am go easily? No wonder I'm a basket case the past few weeks, no wonder why I can't keep focused, keep on track... and keep my running shoes off.

The whole thought process made me remember how heated the comments got on this post from earlier this month. As you can see by the direction of the comments/conversation, we know who we are and how we prefer to be viewed and many of us have strong emotional attachments to our identity (as we should). So, of course this whole undiagnosable injury thing would send me into a small identity crisis. To the non-athlete or maybe just non-self aware person, this might sound lame. But I have a feeling that if you read this far, you just might be pickin' up what I'm puttin' down. :)

So, my saga continues and now that I'm back in the city (for a few days), I'm hoping to make some more progress with this whole situation. I still have not set up an appt with another orthopedist, but the goal is to do it tomorrow morning. So far the extra time off over the past (almost) two weeks has not proven to make things better nor has the few days of running made it feel worse. Everything is pretty much the same. So, I guess we'll see...

On a final note, to the man who ran by me and broke me from my glorious epiphany in the park by mumbling what I believe was, "trash" (which I can only imagine was provoked by my Red Sox t-shirt), you can just go take a nice long swim in the gowanus canal.

For goodness sakes, man, it's a T-shirt!! And THIS is why I will never be a Yankee's fan! :)